I have been building a relationship with my neighbors for several years. I would generally catch Travis outside working on his yard or whatever new pet project he currently had going. When I saw him, I would head over and just talk with him and Lisa, his wife, when she was present.
We would talk about anything from his landscaping business to the latest game I was playing, and we often would look out for each other’s houses, as we do not live in the greatest of neighborhoods. When I saw him outside last week working on some project in the yard, it was only natural for me to cross the street and strike up a conversation with him. As we talked, the subject of my commitment to the church came up, and I shared how I have been a believer since I was very young.
He opened up to me in a way he never had before: He shared with me about his older brother dying of an apparent suicide when he was young. His brother had been attending a church at the time, and his father was convinced the church’s teaching on how great Heaven will be had a hand in him taking his own life. His father blames the church for his death although Travis made it clear he does not necessarily agree.
What do you say to someone when they tell you something like that? I knew trying to give some form of reasoning as to why this could have happened would not be appropriate, neither would blindly defending the church in question. Instead, I acknowledged there were churches that can present the Gospel and Heaven incorrectly. I also offered my condolences and stated I understood why his dad reacted the way he did.
As we talked, it became apparent to me this was not the time to share the full Gospel message with him. Instead, I shared stories of Christians I knew who had also lost children. I also shared a bit of my testimony, how God saved me from committing suicide due to the the stress of the relationship with my dad and step-mom, and how He has further healed that relationship. We talked a little longer, and then I headed back to the house, thanking God for the opportunity to learn more about Travis’ life and struggles and praying for another opportunity to share the Gospel with him. This conversation has opened the door share with him what the Bible really says about God, Salvation, and Heaven.
I have long been a believer in the idea that we need to earn the right to speak into someone’s life. Because I have spent years cultivating a true friendship with Travis, he felt comfortable sharing his story with me. It may take years of building a relationship with that neighbor, coworker, or whomever else you interact with on a normal basis to have a similar opportunity. It can sometimes feel like you are getting nowhere when your conversations are only about what they have been doing recently, but in showing you care about them as people, you may just earn that right to speak the truth of the Gospel into their lives.